JASON: THE TIES THAT BIND

[lazarusinred]

It was not unusual for Jason to wake up a few times during his sleep. He could not be sure if any of the times were because Dirk had gotten squirmy or not. Every time he woke, Dirk was still there. Last night had not been some kind of dream.

Long after the the fingers of dawn had crept around the edges of the bedroom's blinds, and the full light of morning had lit them gently, the alarm Jason had set hours ago chimed. He had been drifting in a doze and the pull to wakefulness was easy to follow. Easy because he had planned for a slow start before they had to leave. Which meant plenty of time to laze around in bed. He still had to fumble a bit with his phone to turn the alarm off.

"Dirk," he said softly, his voice not quite as awake as the rest of him. One hand wound into Dirk's now dry hair, and Jason let the other trail down Dirk's back. "Dirk, it's time to wake up." Now his voice was operating at normal volume.

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[evenindeath]

Dirk had a hundred questions, even more if you included things he just wanted to ask Jason - if he meant it, if he was as happy about this outcome as Dirk, if he had been hoping for this too - but those were best asked in private if at all. Probably not at all.

"Only one for the moment. In whatever bullshit rogues gallery mess you have in this universe, have the names Jack Noir or Lord English showed up before?"

For all he knew his other questions had common answers he just hadn't found yet because he'd been too busy getting his hands all over Jason to actually do real reconnaissance. He'd have to fix that... which might be easier now that he didn't have to worry about there being a time limit on time with Jason.

[lazarusinred]

Batman was typing at the console before Dirk had finished his question, swiftly inputting the names as they were said. The read out was on a sub screen to the side, and after a moment returned with 'NO MATCHES.' "Nothing in our records," he said of the benefit of those who could not see the screen.

"If you do have further questions after you have settled in more, do not hesitate to reach out," Wonder Woman said.

Batman frowned fractionally more than he already was. It was always a grand thing for Jason to witness his father figure being made to play nice with others. Wonder Woman was the best.

"Red Hood, we will reach out to you as primary contact in this matter. This meeting is adjourned," Wonder Woman said.

"Ta!" Flash said brightly.

The screen darkened to a neutral background. After a moment of quiet Batman said, "I have work to attend to." Of course he did. "However, Alfred is expecting you upstairs. Both of you." That was a little unexpected. Upstairs meant putting secrets in easy reach. Maybe it was some kind of test, or a show of trust. This was a case where Jason would have preferred to know which it was before he had to figure it out.

Jason looked to Dirk. "You wanna see where I grew up?"

[evenindeath]

The aforementioned Alfred. Out of all of them Dirk was mildly nervous at meeting him - the way Jason spoke of him showed a degree of respect that Dirk was concerned would mean if Alfred judged Dirk wanting, even petulance wouldn't save Jason's opinion of him.

Not that he let it show.

"Fuck yeah," he said instead. Then, to the Batman, a solemn nod and "... Thanks for the assistance."

[lazarusinred]

"Of course," the Batman said in reply with his own solemn nod.

There were several ways from the cave up into the mansion. However, Jason decided the 'main' elevator was the best idea. It was a bit small for an elevator, but the trip was short enough to keep him honest. Even if he did stand closer to Dirk than he had to.

The elevator opened into the library. When the doors shut they looked like a seamless bit of wall in one of the alcoves. The library was nearly two stories tall, complete with huge windows that looked out over the back gardens, which stretched to the untamed forest beyond. Several sturdy tables took up the middle of the room, with functionally comfortable chairs. Other alcoves had chairs more suited for curling up in with a book. The shelving went all the way to the celling and rolling ladders were placed so one could reach any book they desired. Every available shelf space was carefully filled with books.

"This is the mansion's library," Jason said holding his arms out and turning to face Dirk. "I spent a fuck ton of time here."

[evenindeath]

Not knowing how long the elevator ride was going to be, Dirk was almost dishonest - what was he supposed to do, with Jason standing so close, with that rush of elation that this wouldn't be the last he saw of him? Just as Dirk was about to close the minimal distance between them though the door opened.

The library was massive. Enough so that Dirk needed to take a moment after stepping outside of the elevator to just take it all in, perfectly still as he studied everything he could see from where he was standing before he even went a step further.

"... I've never seen so many books in one place before," he said, softly. Which was true but also a little misleading. He'd never seen so many books before, period.

He'd had plenty of digital copies, two or three times this amount sure, but an actual physical book? A dozen, at most, was what he'd ever seen. That included magazines. Four hundred years with nobody to keep them safe, in his experience all the remains he found showed that sooner or later they were exposed to the elements and entropy did what entropy does. He knew what a library was supposed to look like thanks to the movies and television shows that were in the same digital library, and even then he was a little too aware of how set dressing worked to think they were all the genuine articles in those scenes of the live action stuff.

This was a more startling sight for Dirk, more out if step for him, than the batcave had been.

[lazarusinred]

The softness of his voice combined with how he was standing told Jason some of what was going on in Dirk's head. Jason reached out and took one of Dirk's hands. Not to guide him anywhere, just to hold it. "We can stay here as long as you want," he said.

The smart sound of shoes on the marble of the outside hallway gave Jason enough time to pull away from Dirk, if he wanted to. Instead, he stayed close and held on a little tighter. Alfred entered the library a moment later. Distinguished and indeterminately older as usual. Dirk had spent enough time around dangerous people to see that despite appearances Alfred was not an individual to fuck with. He smiled, more with his eyes than his mouth, when he spotted them. "Unlike Master Dick, you were most difficult to convince to leave the library, Master Jason," he said warmly.

"Alfred, this is Dirk Strider. Dirk, Alfred," Jason said, continuing to stay close to Dirk.

"A genuine pleasure to make your acquaintance, Mr Strider. Does this mean I can expect you both for lunch?"

"I'd like that," Jason said and looked to Dirk for his opinion.

[evenindeath]

'Rose would probably love this,' was one of the first thoughts that flitted through his head. Followed closely by 'Rose probably HAD this.'

She had been from around this era when she entered the game, Dirk remembered. Before any great cataclysm - she was part of the great cataclysm.

Dirk had never really been bothered by what he couldn't have in the sense of a world lost, now captured only in the memories left behind on the massive digital archive he had. He hadn't let himself be. He had his own destiny to prepare for, and this world had been a shell he always knew he would have to leave behind. That there was nothing left to burn had simply made it an easy choice. He wondered for the first time if it was hard for his brother and his brother's friends, when they thought they caused it, before they discovered the inevitability of the destruction and that not beginning the Game merely meant dying with everyone else.

He held Jason's hand in return, gave a little nod to show he was listening as his face remained the blank mask of neutrality. He wasn't sure what to say. The arrival of Alfred meant he didn't need to figure it out, though.

He gave a nod at the introduction, then a nod at Jason's questioning look about staying for lunch. He'd been told much about Alfred's cooking, he had to try this for himself - not that he had much of a frame of reference for good food or not.

"Thank you for the - letting me plus one along," he said after a belated moment of realizing he'd lapsed into silence. He did that sometimes. Often. His friends knew him as overly verbose when he was talking, but even after the game started ninety percent of their interactions had been over text.

[lazarusinred]

"With time I hope you feel less like just a plus one," Alfred said. If Dirk's lapse to quiet had registered as anything other than normal he did not show it. "Lunch will be served in a half hour. Now for me to find where the other young Masters have gotten themselves off to." He gave a smart little nod before heading back out with purpose.

Jason watched Alfred leave and when he was sure they had some privacy again he said, "Actually there is something I need to talk to you about. There's a spot over there we can sit." He gestured toward a mostly hidden alcove.

[evenindeath]

Dirk was wondering if Jason had noticed they were still holding hands when Alfred had been speaking to them, if Alfred had noticed, when Jason spoke again.

The words put his back up instantly, though as usual there were almost no outward signs of alarm or anything else. The same blank neutrality Dirk was known for, especially with his sunglasses covering his eyes.

"Sure. What's up?" He asked as he headed to the indicated alcove, all casual even as he was rapidly engaging in every worst case scenario he could imagine and figuring out how to account for them.

[lazarusinred]

Any question about Jason being aware of their continued hand holding was answered when he used that connection to pull Dirk up short, after they were enough out of sight in the alcove. There was a loveseat style couch-chair here, but Jason was feeling too nervous to sit. Nervous enough to drop his shield of angry tinged neutrality.

"Dirk, I need you to know you don't have to stay with me. But what I want- I want you to. I want to have more mornings like we had. I don't just want you staying with me I want you to live with me. I want to go with you when you go to find your people. I want to keep you by my side until you are sick of me." Once he started it just all tumbled out of him. He could have held back and eased into what he wanted in the following weeks, but he need to know now. Need to know if he should crush what he wanted now than let his heart be broken later on a lure of false pretense.

[evenindeath]

Of all the scenarios that Dirk had run through his mind, this was, somehow, not one of them. That last night was fun but all Jason wanted was the likeliest option followed closely by 'last night was fun and you can stay but I've had my fill of you so this is strictly professional'. And he was ... mostly prepared for that. To be accepting. At least until he could come up with a plan to convince Jason to change his mind anyway.

Jesus, you two are a matched set aren't you?

The quick flash of text across his sunglasses, just fast enough for Dirk to read before vanishing, broke him from his stunned silence. The sudden start at least could be contributed to a reaction to what Jason said, not - Christ he didn't have time to concern himself over seeing things.

Fuck, he should say something. It had been too long since he said something.

Unsure of what to say to get across his feelings, Dirk let go of Jason's hand in favor of bringing his to the side of Jason's face to pull him in for a heated kiss.

[lazarusinred]

The silence did stretch out. Jason worried that he had said too much. Been too much as he so often was. He worried that he had missed something. Dirk had not shown himself to be overly verbose - with notable exceptions - but he had still usually had something to say. The quiet nodding earlier had almost made Jason not say anything. Maybe something had changed, maybe Dirk had been feeling overwhelmed and adding his wants could have been too much.

Which was why when Dirk freed his hand, Jason was surprised it went to his face. Surprise that vanished as he was pulled into the kiss. He returned the kiss in equal, opening his mouth to Dirk's. Sliding his arms around Dirk's waist to pull him close.

[evenindeath]

Dirk had just meant the kiss to show Jason how much he wanted what Jason was requesting, but when Jason kissed him back, when Dirk felt his arms around Dirk's waist, he was hit with another fresh surge of passion. He opened his mouth to it, kissed and kissed until his lungs burned for air and he had to pull back enough to gasp for air.

"... I'd like that too," he said, after a few panted breaths.

[lazarusinred]

Jason smiled softly and made an affirmative sound as he got his own breath back.

"Sorry.... thought I had fucked up... glad I hadn't," Jason said between his own panted breaths. He knew it wouldn't always be easy for them. It would be wrong if it was, actually. Part of what he wanted was the challenge.

"Do you want to look around the library some? Quick tour of the mansion?" he asked, but did not make a move to release Dirk. He would of course, if he was given any indication that was what Dirk wanted.

[evenindeath]

He wanted to stay right here and possibly defile the alcove, but he was pretty sure that would be a no go. He rested his arms on Jason's shoulders, stretching them out and threading his fingers together as he thought.

"Is your old room still here or did they give it to Tiny when he got the hand-me-down title?" Dirk asked after a little thinking.

[lazarusinred]

"It's still here. More guest room than shrine, but still mine. Did you want to see it?" The question was innocent, but the tone of Jason's voice said it didn't have to be.

[evenindeath]

The way Dirk bit his lip and raised his eyebrows just a bit - a mildly flirty expression that might as well have been a neon light on someone who was as stoic as Dirk - probably answered that question before he had to say anything.

"Yeah. Show me?"

Whether it was just a tour of memories or a chance to make some new ones hardly mattered, he'd be happy even if they didn't end up on Jason's old bed.

[lazarusinred]

It was such a strong expression from Dirk that it sent a little flutter through Jason. Maybe for people less accustomed to dealing with people who schooled their features it would not have such an impact, but Jason had been raised by one of the most stoic people on the planet.

In answer Jason stepped away from Dirk and took his hand again. The manor was huge and sprawling. The hallways on the main floor were marble with occasional rugs to break it up. Art hung on the walls and statues punctuated some of the wider halls. It was a short trip to the grand staircase that led up to the second floor. The entry chamber being fully open the full two floors, allowing a massive chandelier to preside over the space. The wall space here contained art that was not only presented for prestige, but some of it felt personal. Things that meant something to the residents of the manor.

The second floor had all wood floors and the art situation was much more subdued. The structure of the space felt more in line with a place actual people would live. Very wealthy people, but people. Getting to his old room required a bit more walking down hallways than it took to get from the library to the main entry.

When they came to the door, Jason paused long enough to make sure no one was waiting to bother them the moment they got there. It seemed that for now people were actually busy or not interested in 'accidentally' being in the way. The room itself was massive and felt strangely empty. After things had been smoothed over between him and Bruce, when he was allowed back here, he had taken a lot of his personal effects that had been left in place. He had kept two of the wheels he had stolen from the Batmobile and one of them was still here. Always a dare for Bruce to take it back, even though now the wheels on the vehicle were several generations along. There were some standard decorations that went along with the rest of the house, but he had picked out a few paintings that remained here. One a moody and dark scene, something that most people would expect from him, and the other depicted a shining field of wheat. Glowing brightly against what appeared to be a dark storm moving in - or moving away. The field was the one he had picked because he had liked it.

In addition to the large bed there was a study desk, and sitting area. It was large enough to be a studio apartment. For so long his own home within his home. It even had its own bathroom. The large windows to either side of the bed looked out over the front garden and down the hills to Gotham in the distance and the lake beyond.

"I don't have any embarrassing boy band posters. Well, not that you can prove," Jason said and released Dirk's hand, allowing him to move about as he wanted.

[evenindeath]

Dirk took it all in quietly as they walked, memorizing every turn and hallway in case he might need it someday in the future. It was the biggest personal residence he'd ever seen, but that wasn't really saying much - he'd seen very few all things considered. Jason's old room was the thing that held his main interest, though. Even with most of the personal items removed it still held traces of him, and Dirk smiled a little at his explanation as he began to look around.

"Hmm, you don't strike me as the type to listen to their music, so how would you have justified getting one to look at the boys on it...?" he asked with a little grin. He also didn't think Jason would have just flatly admitted the truth.

He traced his fingertips along the edge of the wheel, dancing them along the treads, eventually pausing in front of the painting of the field of wheat and the storm. That was where Dirk stopped, just to stare at it for a little while, taking it in and trying to decide if the storm was coming in or away.

[lazarusinred]

"That's assuming that I didn't steal it," Jason said with a little grin of his own. He could have had little secrets like that. Bruce believed in never entering his space without permission. Jason was never sure if that was a universal thing or something he was careful to extend to him.

When Dirk lingered at the painting of the field, Jason moved up next to him. Leaning his shoulder into the other man he asked softly, "Today, is the storm coming or going? Is it something to be endured or something to be embraced?"

[evenindeath]

More than once Dirk had been knocked into the ocean around his high-rise during a storm and almost drowned, and countless more times than that they had simply fucked anything that was left out to the elements when they happened unexpectedly. Even so, he couldn't ever bring himself to hate them. They just were.

It was always safer to assume the storm was heading towards you, if you couldn't be sure of it's direction.

Shoulder to shoulder, Dirk still reached out to lace his fingers with Jason's when holding his hand.

"I think the answer to the last one might be different if you're asking the painter or the wheat," he answered, not looking away from the art.

[lazarusinred]

Holding hands was such a simple thing. Another thing Jason had not done before Dirk. He could not remember his birth parents holding his hand, Bruce certainly had not, Alfred had on occasion. That was not the same as this. Fingers laced together, hand held in return, it felt like saying something without words. Something like, I want you near, but deeper than that. Where words were hard to find.

Jason glanced at Dirk out of the corner of his eye. This was a conversation he had before, but this was the first time it was not a conversation he was having only in his head. "Does the painter fear the storm because it may destroy their work, or do they not because they know they can take it with them to shelter while the storm pounds the wheat into the mud? Or does the wheat yearn for the storm because it brings them life, even if it is too much and hurts sometimes?" As always Jason was not entirely sure if he was talking about the painting or himself.

[evenindeath]

"No matter the damage the storm is appreciated when you need that water," Dirk said, and he knew. He had a system of desalination so it was never a problem for him, not really, but it was a slow enough process that a sudden influx of rainwater never went without a certain relief no matter what else it fucked with. "Imagine either way it's annoying... the scene you're painting is going to change, one way or another, if the storm comes through. If only by changing the lighting. Have to work fast."

He'd never talked about art with someone before. He wasn't sure he was doing it right, but Jason didn't seem annoyed.

[lazarusinred]

Jason was of the opinion that there was no wrong way to talk about art, except to insist that there was a right way to talk about art. He was enjoying this conversation with Dirk, and was not afraid to let that show on his features. It was just the two of them after all.

"Work fast and have a great memory. I wonder how many times this painter sketched this scene, painted it. How many times of day they tried to capture, how many storms, or was it just one perfect moment of opportunity and skill?"

[evenindeath]

The visible enjoyment in Jason's expression was it's own reward. Enough so that Dirk didn't feel like there was any great loss for not making use of the temporary privacy of a door that closed between them and the rest of the household. Jason also seemed a little less shameless about that kind of thing when it came to his family, and Dirk could respect that.

No crass and vulgar comments where Jason could hear them.

"Dunno, but... I think the perseverance is the one I like most. Doing it again and again until it's right."