JASON: THE TIES THAT BIND

[lazarusinred]

It was not unusual for Jason to wake up a few times during his sleep. He could not be sure if any of the times were because Dirk had gotten squirmy or not. Every time he woke, Dirk was still there. Last night had not been some kind of dream.

Long after the the fingers of dawn had crept around the edges of the bedroom's blinds, and the full light of morning had lit them gently, the alarm Jason had set hours ago chimed. He had been drifting in a doze and the pull to wakefulness was easy to follow. Easy because he had planned for a slow start before they had to leave. Which meant plenty of time to laze around in bed. He still had to fumble a bit with his phone to turn the alarm off.

"Dirk," he said softly, his voice not quite as awake as the rest of him. One hand wound into Dirk's now dry hair, and Jason let the other trail down Dirk's back. "Dirk, it's time to wake up." Now his voice was operating at normal volume.

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[evenindeath]

Dirk's eyelashes fluttered behind the sunglasses as Jason pulled back to breathe, to trace the mark he'd left on Dirk's neck. God, God, he wanted, he was trying to think of how to get his shirt off but keep Jason's jacket on when that softly spoken confession hit him like a train.

It was more than desire.

"Traditionally not such a good idea," Dirk said, breathless, trying for casual but an edge of hysteria in his voice in spite of himself. Had he tricked Jason into this? He didn't want to be that anymore, he didn't. Not here, not when he didn't have to, but he wanted Jason to want him-

He took off his sunglasses, tossed them elsewhere onto the bed in favor of threading his fingers through Jason's hair and kissing him again before this could be seen as rejection.

"I don't want to fuck things up with you," he whispered, voice hoarse against Jason's lips. Be honest. Honest. "-because I feel the same."

[lazarusinred]

In those moments between, there was the litany of all the things Jason had fucked up by pushing too hard. By being, in his mind, too honest. Dirk had said that he wanted what Jason did, but everything Jason had laid out did not have to come with a deep emotional attachment. It was plausible that-

The brief roil of thoughts was brought to a sudden stop with the feel of Dirk's fingers in his hair, Dirk kissing him. Kissing Dirk in return, relieved even if the doubt was only a split second. As the fear evaporated he was able to see things clearly. Jason was not a mind reader, but he had enough pieces now to read a little under the surface.

He could feel the tension in Dirk through his fingertips, the effort in the words breathed across his lips. He held the confession close, hidden in the space between them. Two people so afraid to lose something precious when they had already experienced so much loss that it felt like a grantee. Every relationship Jason had ever had, had been fucked up by him or for him- starting with his parents. But he had learned how to repair them sometimes.

"Not going to let you fuck it up. I see you and I am not going to let you fuck it up," he whispered fiercely. He pressed forward with an equally fierce kiss. He needed Dirk to know there was not some illusory version, a cleaner version that he wanted. He wanted Dirk as he was, all the sharp edges of him.

[evenindeath]

A concept he couldn't grasp - to be seen, to be known, and to not be faced with repulsion for it. There were still so many uglier parts to surface, things that had not come up yet, but Dirk still clung to this promise like a man drowning.

Jason would not let him fuck this up.

Dirk's kiss was just as hungry and needful as their first one, flooded all over again with the knowledge of the open door, the hand outstretched, someone who didn't shy away from his own intensity and instead met it with his own. Want was too light a word for how he felt about Jason. When he had to part to breathe this time, Dirk found the words to ask what he almost had in the hallway.

"...Can I go down on you?"

[lazarusinred]

There were more and uglier things for both of them to learn about each other. However, Dirk had maintained an acceptance of Jason, and Jason had yet to learn anything about Dirk that he did not like. The worst of it was already something that Dirk had admitted to wanting to change. If they held each other's pasts as if they were knives to the throat, what kind of future could they make like that? What Dirk showed himself to be now was what mattered to Jason.

Jason smiled a little at Dirk's question. It felt like it had a different weight given what they had just confessed. Not less than, just different. "Fuck yes," he replied. He didn't have to say that he hadn't before. They were both openly on the same footing there and with that knowledge, it was easy to ask, "Um, how do you want me?"

[evenindeath]

'Any way you'll let me' was on the tip of Dirk's tongue, but that didn't quite answer the question that was asked in the context it was asked. He hadn't done this before either, but among actual cinema saved in his digital library of the before times... well, it wasn't like there wasn't plenty of porn, too. And he'd done quite a bit of 'research' back when him and Jake were dating even if it never came to that.

Preparation for things that never came to pass, as usual.

"You lay back, get comfortable," he said, trying to sound like he was fully in control and knew exactly what he was doing. It would have fooled anyone else. He wasn't sure it fooled Jason.

[lazarusinred]

It might have fooled Jason if he did not know better and had not spent the entire time with Dirk packing away every little nuance of the man. However, he was not going to break the illusion unless physics decided to get in the way.

Lay back and get comfortable, was easy enough. The bed was big, as was fitting for a huge house and a large room. Plenty of space to get comfortable. He stripped off his hoodie and tossed it to the floor, before settling back almost like he was preparing to sleep. He felt anything but ready for sleep, all his attention on Dirk.

"Like so?"

[evenindeath]

Dirk appreciated the appeal to his ego.

"Yeah," he said, sitting up on his knees on the bed as he watched Jason get comfortable, heart somewhere in his throat as he did his best to keep his cool or at least appear that way. If anyone was ever under the mistaken impression that Dirk had any chill it was only because he was good at lying.

Once Jason had settled back Dirk straddled his thighs so he could press his lips to Jason's neck, his collarbone, moving down his chest and letting his hands mark the path first through caresses that paused just long enough to work his pants open.

[lazarusinred]

Even if the chill was a lie, it did help Jason feel a little grounded as his heart galloped. Despite everything they had done together to this point, he still felt the same giddy thrill that had come with sliding his finger past Dirk's waistband the first time.

His hands slid to what he could reach of Dirk's thighs and then a hand moved to thread through Dirk's hair as he moved his way down. It would be difficult to not want to touch Dirk, no matter what they were doing. Just like how his body responded easily to Dirk's attention- the touch of hands and lips. From little things like eye dilation, color on his cheeks, a rise of gooseflesh where hot breath met his skin to being hard and yearning for Dirk's touch by the time he got there.

[evenindeath]

Dirk couldn't get enough of Jason. Even as he was somewhat anxious to get this right, the nerves were nothing compared to the want to be able to do it. To do anything and everything with Jason, as much as he allowed Dirk to have.

He pressed open mouthed kisses to Jason's stomach as he made quick work of the fastenings of his pants, urged on by the touch to his hair. Every inch of skin he revealed he pressed his lips to as he tugged the pants further and further down. There was a brief moment of uncertainty before he managed to free his prize entirely - was this too much, too fast? But Jason had been on the same page as him this while time. Had told him over and over that if Dirk crossed a line he'd say something.

There was nothing wrong with how much he wanted this. Especially with someone who wanted it just as much as him.

"You're so fucking gorgeous-" he murmured, words partially muffled against Jason's skin when he tugged the pants down the rest of the way, underwear along with, so he could free Jason's cock.

[lazarusinred]

Jason raised his hips as much as he could to aid in the process of clothing removal. Yes, he did want this as much as Dirk did. There could be a time when he did not eagerly meet what Dirk wanted, but that time was well past where they were now. So much so that Jason could not guess what that would look like, but he was confident they would be able to navigate it if it ever came to it.

He let go of Dirk's leg just long enough to adjust the pillow under his head so he didn't have to crane his head so much and smiled that same softening smile he had when they had first ended up on his living room floor. "I'm glad you approve," he said breathlessly. "Fuck, I need you, Dirk. I want this and I want you." Words to go with his fingers running down to Dirk's neck and curling back up, the way his breath was already quicker, not to mention the hardness of his cock.

[evenindeath]

It was music to Dirk's ears, the clear and obvious want when he had always been the blatantly needier one. It just made his blood run hotter, his heart beat faster, wanting to do anything for a chance to hear it again.

"Jay," Dirk murmured, breath hot against Jason's skin before he pressed a hot kiss against the soft skin where hip met pelvis. Taking Jason's cock in hand was easy- he'd done that before now, had already learned the pressure Jason seemed to like best as he stroked it. Bringing his mouth down to lick at the head, that was the new territory and he was watchful for every sign Jason gave. He didn't just want to be good at this, he wanted to be good for Jason.

[lazarusinred]

Unlike earlier Jason was in no rush to finish things. No time limits and the want in him eased from a fever pitch. A good place to figure out what worked for him.

Dirk's skillful touch was enough to send a pleasurable shiver through him. The addition of Dirk's hot tongue was better than he had imagined it would be, and his imagination was no slouch. It wasn't just the act, but that it was Dirk. His eyelids fluttered and a sighed breath hissed through his teeth. "Yes- more-" he managed to say after a moment of taking it all in.

[evenindeath]

Every breathy murmur from Jason urged Dirk on. Licking up and down along the length of him, tongue wet and hot and soon enough chased by the press of soft lips lovingly along the shaft. He knew enough to be careful of the teeth here, at least, altogether gentle compared to to frantic biting at Jason's neck the other times. He was of a same mind to not be in a rush to finish this, though. He wanted to take his time, to learn every inch of skin with his mouth.

[lazarusinred]

There was plenty of skin for Dirk to memorize and Jason wanted him to take all the time he needed. Jason relaxed into the liquid heat of Dirk's tongue, the soft press of lips, and the occasional gentle graze of teeth. All together brought a heat that suffused him. A heat that made his heart race and shortened his breath. Breaths broken with murmurs and gasps. Through half-lidded eyes he watched Dirk complete a lick along the length of him- the sight and sensation sending a shiver through him. "Dirk," he breathed, feeling affection deepening along with the heat.

[evenindeath]

It was easy to pick up a good rhythm once he got going, press of tongue and lips and mouth until he took the head between his lips to suck. Hands on Jason's thighs kept him steady, fingers firm on the well-muscled limbs. Slow and steady, he reminded himself - he did not want to go too fast and gag himself right then.

[lazarusinred]

Jason was glad for Dirk's hands on his thighs to break the impulse to move his hips. As it was the muscles tensed under Dirk's hands, the wet heat of Dirk's mouth spreading in a wave through him. He relaxed into it, a string of positive expletives hissing past his teeth. God, it felt good. Dirk felt good- amazing. Whatever fantasies Jason had of this moment were swept away and forgotten. All now Dirk and the blazing need he felt, could see in Dirk's focused attention. "Slow, yes," he agreed when next he had breath to speak.

[evenindeath]

The idea of Jason fucking into his mouth was a very nice one, but maybe to be tabled until they both had a better idea of what Dirk could easily take. Again, nothing quite as unsexy as being sick all over your partner from too much enthusiasm. So, taking his time, ever so slowly swallowing Jason down bit by bit, finding exactly how much movement he could manage with his tongue with Jason's cock in his mouth. Even knowing slow was what they needed, every time he had to pull back to breathe was a minor annoyance getting in the way of what he wanted. Shifting his weight on Jason's legs, he brought one hand away from his hips to hold on to Jason's erection, to stroke him where Dirk's mouth didn't yet reach.

[lazarusinred]

Every bit of him that Dirk took in pushed Jason to further depths of pleasure. The times when Dirk had to pull back for a breath was like the tide going out and giving him space to take a step back from the inevitable brink. Then Dirk's mouth and tongue would return like the rush of the tide's return. His breath became heavy and ragged, and his cock became even harder and hotter as Dirk swallowed more.

Jason continued to murmur encouragements mixed with Dirk's name, one hand still tangled in Dirk's hair, but the other had fallen to clinging to the bedspread. The movements of Dirk's hot, wet tongue along with eagerly sucking lips and firm fingers filled him slowly and achingly to the tipping point.

"Fuck - Dirk - please," he panted, with a desperate edge. Despite himself, his hips strained up ever so slightly.

[evenindeath]

Sense was quickly flying out the proverbial window when Jason made those sounds, so hot and heavy in Dirk's mouth, the salt taste of precome on his tongue. He should pull back, not try to swallow for a first time, but he didn't want to let Jason go like that. Like always, Dirk wanted more. His own jeans were painfully tight, Jason's hand in his hair was absolute bliss as Dirk swallowed him down as deep as he could take him, muffling the encouraging moan for Jason to not hold back.

[lazarusinred]

God, the way that Dirk moaned as he pulled more of him in- if Jason had not already been at the edge, it would have surely sent him there. With the long slow buildup, the release was achingly, blissfully, hot and heavy. Pulled deep from the core of him, like the gasping cry of Dirk's name that broke past his lips. His fingers tightened in Dirk's hair, for a moment not letting him go. Not until he had given Dirk everything he had to give.

[evenindeath]

Dirk managed to swallow almost all of it, working Jason with his mouth and tongue and hand and take as much of it as he could, continuing as long as Jason could go for. Some spilled out of the corner of his mouth at the end, but he held on, kept his mouth on Jason and didn't try to move off until Jason let him, absolutely turned on by the hold. He was so hard it hurt and he was loving every second of it.

[lazarusinred]

Compared to the messes they had already made, what little Dirk didn't manage was barely noticeable. Even in the tingly after orgasm space, Jason still wanted Dirk. The edge was blunted, but it still curled in him even as his breathing started to calm. Letting go of Dirk was only so that he could pull Dirk up to him. "Come'ere," Jason murmured before pulling Dirk into a deep kiss.

[evenindeath]

Even careful to not put pressure on anything overly sensitive right then, Dirk scrambled up to meet Jason's lips in a kiss. Every part of him needed and Jason's touch was the only thing that could bring him relief.

"Jason, Jay," he gasped against Jason's mouth, hands still grasping at his chest, just wanting - needing - to touch him.

[lazarusinred]

All the ways that Dirk touched him thrilled Jason, but the times like this with such open need called urgently to that same need in him. His body would need more rest to properly show what it did to him, but his heart and mind were there.

"Dirk."

Jason slid his hand down to press his palm to the tight bulge of Dirk's erection trapped in his jeans. The heat of it obvious even through the layers of cloth. It must hurt, and the pressure Jason was putting on it must make it ache more. "You're overdressed," he murmured against Dirk's lips before moving to start undoing the fastenings. At the same time, he attempted to wriggle out of his own pants. Dirk had done the job of getting them almost entirely off, just a little fancy footwork would take care of the rest.

[evenindeath]

He was very overdressed, and bucked against Jason's hand even as the pressure was indeed aching against his still covered cock. A little encouragement was all he needed to be squirming to kick his own pants off with a little help, leaving him completely naked aside from Jason's jacket still loosely wrapped around him. It was absolutely thrilling.

"This better?" he asked, though he certainly felt better and less like he was going to lose all circulation in his dick.